|
Steps: |
1. |
Treat your spouse well. Nothing pleases
parents more than knowing that their son or daughter is being well loved
and cared for. |
2. |
Present a united front. Never squabble
with your spouse in front of his or her parents. If you think that hot
issues may come up, discuss how you will deal with them ahead of time. |
3. |
Contact them without waiting for them
to contact you, and invite them over before they invite themselves. This
gives you a chance to get your home the way you want it for their visit
and to prepare yourself emotionally for a visit on your own terms. |
4. |
Ask their advice, whether or not you
plan to take it. Your spouse's parents will be glad to feel that they
still have some influence on the life of their child. |
5. |
Be creative. If it bothers you that
your mother-in-law always tries to do your dishes after dinner, offer
her another task, such as serving coffee or playing with the baby. |
|
|
Tips: |
|
Begin making your own cherished family
holiday traditions at home, especially if family holidays become a
tug-of-war about whose family to visit, and it isn't possible to visit
both. Or, get on a plane to somewhere warm, and enjoy the holidays in an
entirely different way. |
|
Consider alternating holidays –
Thanksgiving with one family, Christmas or Hanukkah with the other. This
is one way to reduce conflict and satisfy almost everyone. |
|
|
Warnings: |
|
Avoid confrontations with your in-laws
if possible. Try to let criticism or differences of opinion wash over
you, but if this isn't possible, just handle things as gracefully as you
can without seeming combative or insincere. |
|
Try to get along well with your
in-laws, but don't let them take over. This can become especially
important when grandchildren arrive. Just set some reasonable ground
rules for everyone in the family, and make sure everyone follows them. |
|
Sometimes, it just doesn't work out. If
you and your in-laws are completely incompatible, for whatever reason,
just handle it as gracefully as possible, avoid contact whenever you
can, and remember that even if you will never love your in-laws, they
did something wonderful when they created your spouse |