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Some Deep Breaths, Please ..........

Proper breathing can help develop ejaculatory control. Put simply, taking a few deep breaths can help dissipate the arousal/tension that leads to quick ejaculations. The kind of breathing that's needed is deep, easy, and relaxing. Unfortunately, many of us don't breathe this way. When I ask clients to take some deep breaths, I notice that many of them actually get more tense. They tense their chest or shoulder muscles, sometimes their neck and even arm muscles as well, and even hold their breath (which will make anyone more tense).

The best kind of relaxing breathing I know is the kind taught in most schools of meditation. There is no obvious tensing of muscles, and while inhaling, the belly (not the chest) swells and protrudes. That is, if you lay one hand on your belly while doing this kind of breathing, you'll notice your stomach pushing out a bit on each inhalation and going down a bit on each exhalation. If you're not used to breathing this way, it will take a little practice to learn it. Keep in mind that the purpose is relaxation, keep a hand on your belly to make sure it's protruding slightly with each inhalation, and try not to tense any muscles. If you have trouble with this, it can help to imagine that your belly is an empty balloon, being gently filled with each inhalation, then being gently emptied with each exhalation. This is a fiction, of course, since the air is always going to the same place, your lungs. Nonetheless, the image is usually helpful.

Once you can do this, it's a good idea to practice it as often as possible. A few deep breaths of this kind are perhaps the quickest way for most people to relax. Experiment with taking a few deep breaths when you stop stimulation in  the partner exercises.   The more excited you are, the more likely you'll want to take short, superficial breaths and even pant. But with some practice, most men can overcome that tendency and take deep, relaxing breaths.

If you want to go further with using relaxation to help gain ejaculatory control, you can imagine that the air you take in goes down into your pelvis, relaxing the muscles and the whole region. The more relaxed your pelvis is, the less the chance of ejaculating.